Chapter 2: ICU for both of us

It is now time, Gentle Reader, for the birth of my child. I am wheeled off in the hospital bed, leaving my darling Husband in the room, towards surgery. I wave to the nurses as I pass their station and say, "Bye, I'm off to have a baby." I've accepted the fact that she's coming out early and I'm rather excited to meet her.

Normally, operating rooms are scary. They're sterile, white, bright, and filled with all kinds of scary medical equipment. This one wasn't. The nurses hovered over me and explained everything they were doing. Then the epidural man came in. He was a really nice guy despite the fact that he put a needle into my spine. It was an odd sensation. A shot of cold ran down my spine. Everything below my waist began to tingle and the go pleasantly numb. I couldn't move my toes. I asked the anesthesiologist if he could come by after a rough day at school and give me another one. He laughed and marveled at my astounding sense of humor.

"It's amazing that you can crack jokes at a time like this," he said.

"Well, I am on painkiller," I replied with a slight slur. My arms were strapped down in a position that wasn't unlike Jesus on the cross. A sheet was put up so I didn't have to watch my abdomen being cut open. And I relaxed for a moment waiting for the inevitable.About this time, my DH (That's short for Darling Husband) came to sit by my side in scrubs. The doctors came in and went to work.

At 5:28 pm,she was born. I didn't feel her come out. She didn't cry. I didn't see her at all. DH said, "She's out."

"She's out?" I asked and I saw one of the doctors rush out the room with something small and red in a towel. If I hadn't been high, that would have been the moment that hurt my feelings the most. I've read that it's normal for a woman who gives birth via C-Section to feel like a failure. In my haze, I did. I knew this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. I lost whatever bit of acceptance I had gained on my way to the operating room. To this day, I still don't have it back fully.

DH and I are brought to the recovery room. I beg for something to drink because my mouth is so dry and am given ice chips. I still can't feel anything below the waist. DH pulled out a camcorder which was lent to us by our friend Texas Barbie- she was the one who would have sat with me while he went to class. Now would be the appropriate time to go to my videos and view said video. I will warn you- you'll laugh, you'll cry- as I did. The first part is very funny since I am higher on painkiller than i ever have been before. Then they wheel Phoebe in so I can see her. Please watch the video before proceeding.

If I had known to cry, I would have. I didn't know how close we both were to death at this point. That is not an exaggeration. I am not kidding. At the end of the video, you can barely hear the doctor say "Can you turn that off please?" to DH. Phoebe had acidosis, meaning her blood was too acidic and she had to be rushed off to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) to be stabilized. That's when the doctors realized that what's wrong with her just might be what's wrong with me too. They test my blood to find that I also have acidosis and a blood sugar of 493- normal blood sugar will be from 70 to 110. I am also rushed to ICU.

The next few hours are very hazy. I was on a lot of painkiller and they had given me a button to give myself more should I desire it. It was hooked to my epidural, so when I pushed the button I got another shot of cold down my spine. I know doctors and nurses came in. I remember my uncle being there. He lives in Tomball and quickly drove down once my mother called him. DH was there with Texas Barbie and my brother from another mother The Aggie. They were talking to the doctors. I saw DH's face and knew it couldn't be good. I had never seen him so scared. I didn't know at that point that I was dying and the doctors were doing everything to keep me alive.

At one point in time, I remember my OB coming in with a friend of his. He was a bald man wearing an ugly yellow print polo shirt. He started messing with my upper chest and I could feel a tube being put into me. I asked what was going on. My Ob said that this friend of his was putting in a central venous catheter or central line- an IV which went into my subclavain vein- or in layman's terms the huge vein which pumps right into my heart. They started administering insulin in mass quantaties and I began to stabilize. I remember saying to my DH at some point in time, "I'm not going to die." Which was true, obviously. I have way too much stuff left to do.

My OB came in again after a while and said that this hospital- which is a women's hospital, they do babies and breast cancer- wasn't equipt to handle my needs. I was being transported my ambulance to another hospital. All I knew is that I was being transfered away from my baby. I told my DH to go home and get some rest. I knew my parents were on their way, his parents were flying in the next day, and his older brother was driving down from Dallas. He wouldn't be alone.

The ambulance and paramedics came to get me and I was wheeled out. The nice ambulance man and I talked while I was being transported. After I told him I was a theatre teacher, he said his sister lived in New York and did a lot of Broadway and off-Broadway work. Only I would discuss theatre with the paramedics after one of the most traumatic expereinces of my life.

We arrived and I was placed in ICU. There was a flurry of doctors and nurses for about an hour. They took my vitals, drew vial after vial of blood, and put more IVs in my arms and hands. I looked like the Borg- I was attached to so many machines and wires I could barely move. My only consolation was what came to be known as the Tweety Button (Thank you, Mama Pug). My pain killer button in this hospital would "chirp" every time I pressed it and it released its narcotic goodness. I pressed this serval times while I was being poked and prodded.

Then, the doctors and nurses left and I was alone. They gave me the remote control and I surfed the channels for a while all the while missing my Dish Network on screen guide. Then, I passed into a dreamless sleep until a nurse showed up an hour later to take my blood sugar.

The next morning the nightmare truly began.